An Attic

The call had surprised Sasha that morning; she was to meet with an attorney as soon as possible to discuss a time-sensitive matter. Walking up the stairs to the offices, she began to get slightly worried about the cause to disrupt her day at work. What could these guys want? The meeting was short and few were there. She was told that she had received an inheritance from her mother, long since dead to Sasha herself as she had abandoned her when she was a small child. Apparently the rest of the world was acknowledging her death now too. The attorney didn't really go into much detail, he simply gave her an envelope that contained a letter, a key, and had her name and an address printed neatly on the front. The request was for her to go to the address before reading the letter, which made Sasha a little more worried and curious at the same time.

The cab let her off in a suburb outside of town. The homes were victorian style with picket fences and manicured lawns. Even this house seemed well taken care of and she questioned why her mother would have wanted her to come here. She unlatched the gate and cautiously knocked on the front door. A man smiled and held out his hand to her as he allowed her inside. "You must be Sasha." he said, a smile that showed his welcome and condolence. He quickly explained that he had been a friend of her mother from church and had spent a great deal of time with her while she suffered through the cancer. Sasha sat politely, doubting much of what the stranger was saying. He obviously didn't realize that her mother had abandoned her and left her virtually on her own. Tears filled his eyes as he explained how much of her mother's torments came not from the chemo that ravaged her body, but from the demons of her past. "You are all she thought about for months." He said gently. Her look clearly stated her doubts. He smiled gently. "I know you don't want to believe it, but it is true. This house is a testament to that. I'm leaving now but, she asked that you take your time here, look around, and make your way up to the attic. Her request was that you read that letter in the attic."

"My darling girl," the letter began as Sasha sat cautiously on a teetering chair in the finished space. "This was once my home and now I hope that it will be yours. I know that there is no excuse for what I have done to you through your life and I could never ask you to forgive me, but now as my time draws close, I know that I must share with you some things you never knew. My father raised me here, and while I tried to please him, he could not be pleased. He was an alcoholic and was mean when he was drinking. The things he did to my mother and I...well, they are best left unsaid. I don't want that to be the memory you have here or to be all you think of. My upbringing was no excuse, but I am sorry for the pain I put you through.
"I brought you here because I hate this house. Every board, stair, banister, hallway and doorknob bring back tears and fear to my heart. But this place, where you are right now, this place is Home. I asked that you come here to read my words because this was my safe place, my haven, my hope. When father was upset and looking for someone to take it out on, I came here. He did not know that the attic was here and had never thought to look in it and this became my true place of peace. I cleaned it, decorated it, kept my favorite books and knick knacks lined along the floor where I kept pillows and blankets and food, just in case. This place is my home, Sasha my child, and I hope that it will one day be yours. I pray that you and your family can take the darkness that haunted these hallways and fill it with light and joy and laughter, and I hope that one day you can come to forgive and love me as I have loved you my whole life. I had thought that I had died when I was very young, in the rooms just below this floor, and I may have. I did not realize for many years that I became alive again the moment that you came to my life. I love you my daughter."

Sasha looked at the space around her. Everything was clean, well taken care of, and obviously precious. She walked along the wall and found letters and notes taped to different objects and in places, each in her mother's fine script. She had not been able to share these thoughts and dreams when they were together, but she longed to now though they were apart. A tear rolled gently down Sasha's cheek as she watched the sun set behind giant maple trees, and with it went her bitterness, anger, and fears. Tomorrow was going to be a new day and she was going to start it right here.